Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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