I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
