also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
