No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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