Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
