I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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