how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
