11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
