He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
