After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
