my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
