Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
