the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
