Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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