Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
