He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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