I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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