I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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