where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
