Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
