Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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