I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
