No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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