i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
