I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
