Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
