talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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