Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hippo gnu deer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
