That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
