I am in a vortex of obligation.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
