Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
