This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
