pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
