Say something about gay babies.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
