My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
