I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
