i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
