I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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