it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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