wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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