you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
