Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
