p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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