i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
