I wish my penis had an off switch
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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