I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
