Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
