And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
