my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
one might say we're banned from that church
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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