I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
