You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
