I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize