I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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